The family and society
So let’s think about this model a little more. Maybe the family circle is the best one to begin with. This is actually the foundational building block of any society because it is the first set of relationships that any individual has. Those relationships, for good or bad, influence the character and the values of the person during the most impressionable time of their life; and this influence usually continues far into adulthood. That is why the definition of family is of supreme importance in any society. Historically, genetically (and according to the Bible in Gen. 2:24) a family consists of one man, one woman and their pre-adult children. Any society that does not work on this premise is extinct within one generation – talk about a practical definition!!
Now we need to think about the functions of the family. The family is the first and strongest demonstration to a child of what love, commitment and respect might mean. The mother and father demonstrate these values (or their absence) in unique ways to each other and to a child. But if these are not present in the family environment, then the child is unable to function in a healthy manner and may be unstable and insecure for most of their life unless it can be resolved in another significant relationship. The proper functioning of relationships is the key to a healthy society because society is the interaction of people. The struggle for survival, control or anything else without the tempering and ennobling qualities of love, commitment and respect end in fractured relationships and a fractured society.
It is disturbing to me to see the apparent ‘commitment’ to peace, prosperity, love, religion, education and even generosity in the American society with the plummeting commitment to marriage and family. This is evidence that we are not really concerned about quality relationships, just ideas that also make us feel good about ourselves.
The other primary function of the family is education. The parents teach communication and language use, views on work, play and learning while discovering interests and skills. The parents are also responsible for contracting with the church and/or public education system (government) for taking a role in the educational process. This contract and the continued involvement of the parents is the foundation of the child’s lifelong interaction with those larger circles of society. Parents also model and teach values regarding time, money and other resources. These are the most important lessons that a child will ever learn and affects their approach to life and learning in every way. When the parents minimize their responsibilities here, the task is left to other care givers who often have no real interest in the successful development of the child (ie. the TV).
It is also important to note that the family is the one aspect of society that joins with others in the formation of churches and governments. Without the family, they do not exist!
The Bible has a lot to say about families, with good and bad examples, but there is only one of the 10 Commandments that addresses family interaction, “Honor your father and mother”. The command is not to love but to honor. Sometimes loving is hard. But honor has its place, even when the object of honor is not honorable by any means. Honor is the giving of worth which, by definition, comes from someone of worth. So when children honor their parents, even deplorable ones, they show themselves to be worthy and honorable. Sometimes the honor given is actually received by the parent and begins to work a change on their broken, hard or malicious spirit!
There is obviously much more we could discuss: the changes in family structure forced by the society, the challenges of children forced to emotional, physical or religious slavery by the family, and the list goes on. But I will close with a quote from Albert Einstein: Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labor in freedom. This is the ideal goal of the family, to create, nurture and inspire the individual to greatness in a setting of intimate relationships and loving devotion. Honor your parents and strive to be honorable yourself and I hope that you find great freedom in the commitment of healthy family relationships!